jikokeno3.3

Good start to the year

Back from Skipton. Did I not tell you I was going? I'm really lax at this kind of thing.

I didn't want to come back. And believe me, it's not because Skipton is so wondrously spectacular - far from it. It's just nice to have a break in the monotony. Which, currently, is how my life is panning out. My average weekday is based on waking up (usually later than intended), going to work, lunch, more work, walk home, dicking around for a while, maybe work on the comic, then repeat until the weekend - which is usually spent working (9.30-12 Saturday), dicking around some more, comicking like a bastard on Sunday, and then repeat the entire thing.

That's it. I can almost predict the future. Course, there's still the chance I may meet up with friends or go out of an evening, maybe buy something nice for dinner. But you get the idea.

And so actually going up there - a bind though it was, and what a fucking train journey - was nice. Seeing all the folks from the previous courses, free food and board (I rarely only spend a fiver in 3 days), some alone time and no real worries to speak of was really, really nice. It's just a break; sure, I was working throughout the week, I was there for training, and since you asked nicely, I passed with flying colours, thank-you-very-much, but yeah. It wasn't the normal week. I was free.

Wasn't a perfect week by all means. One person I really wanted to see had been disallowed from the course due to that person's temporary contract due to run out. And like I said, there was the course itself, which was shite. I learned a new thing or so, and did a test. There was a lot of time wasting, and this time the trainer was a patronising bitch who seemed to think she was teaching school children and not a group of customer advisers, the youngest of which being 22 (and incidentally, that was me). But I was very sad to be coming back.

Just felt this feeling of dread and gloom on the train back (fuck, it was 6 hours, I had the time) that seems to have lingered on now I have returned. The feeling that my life is this. This is it. That there may be a few changes, a few significant moments in its duration that may alter my feelings and lift me up for a while... but at the end of it all I'll still be a servant to those people earning at least one hundred times more money than myself. Jobs change, my location will no doubt change (perhaps sooner rather than later, but I'll talk about that later), and the people I meet and come to know will change. I'll lose friends, I'll gain friends, I may even find that love thing which seems to have evaded me up until this point (but Christ, I can't be arsed with the relationship business, not for a good fucking while), but it's all just slight scratches and nicks on the revolving 45 of life.

And if that don't make you pray for death as a release, what the fuck will?

posted by Cos Ryan @ 12:26 AM