jikokeno3.3

So, what're we on?

It's 10.21am on Friday, 11th July 2008. And for the second time this week, I've called in sick. Monday was a sick day, Tuesday and Wednesday were days off anyway, and Thursday I turned up.

I had a return to work interview, and because I've been off sick 3 times in one 9 month period I have a disciplinary... today. I told Manager Scott about my "depression" and explained that this was the reason for my absence on Monday. He said it was fine and was even trying to ensure I wouldn't get a disciplinary. Unfortunately, he couldn't do it, and a disciplinary was booked for midday today.

And today, like Monday, I wake up with a minute to go before my shift starts. I really don't know why this keeps happening, but I'm not putting much hope in the idea that I might have a job when I walk into the office tomorrow. I really didn't need to be fired from this one. I need the money like you would not believe. I'm sat here in the university library looking for personal loans and not even looking at the interest rates - that's how skint I am. I need the money so damn badly that I am willing to pay 3 times what the loan is worth in order to get the cash now.

I'm fucked. End of the line. No job, I've still not paid the rent on the new house, I owe nPower a shitload, BT a shitload, my mobile phone, my first personal loan, and I've now got HSBC up my arse trying to get me to pay into that account. IT'S NEVER GOING TO FUCKING STOP! As soon as I feel I've done something good, or moved in the right direction, something always comes in and fucks things up for optimum effect.

I'm so fucking sick of this. You know, I wouldn't have to worry if I was dead. Fuck.

posted by Cos Ryan @ 9:12 AM